Love

As Rufus Jones said and wrote “The democracy I want will treat every human person as a unique, sacred, and indispensable member of a spiritual whole, a whole which remains imperfect if even one of its “little ones” is missing; and its fundamental axiom will be the liberation and realization of the inner life which is potential in every member of the human race.”  I can and will do everything I can to help that become a reality but the political situation right now makes it quite clear that we are not there.  Love, compassion and understanding bring us closer to that goal.

Gratitude

Just a good solid day, nothing notable or spectacular.  I began the day shortly after midnight with prayer and meditation, slept a while, shopped for the week, exercised and meditated some more.  I now just feel grateful I can have such a day and I know many people who cannot.  I look around me and see many people who move and do other things much more easily than I do and they take it for granted.  I used to --- but not any more.  I am grateful for the life I have.

Harmony

According to the Thomas gospel, Jesus says that the primordial light or power not only brought the entire universe into being but still shines through everything we see and touch.  I, often, get in touch, harmonize and feel that power when I meditate on whatever object I choose.  I find harmonizing easiest with the ocean or a storm but also with things like feathers from birds, rocks or trees.  I feel that power and use it for healing.  “Jesus said, ‘I am the light which is before all things.  It is I who am all things.  From me all things came forth, and to me all things extend.  Split a piece of wood, and I am there; lift up the stone, and you will find me.’” from the gospel of Thomas

Silence

I enjoy silence in the world around me.  External silence makes it easier to look inside to find out what I am thinking and/or feeling and it allows me to hear what God has to tell me.  Maria and I spend Thursday night at her mother’s and the people in that home enjoy constant technological noise from computers, TV and I-phones.  Last night I actually got to the point of craving silence so I went into a secluded room, turned out the light, closed the door and meditated while sitting on the floor, it was wonderful.  “When a peaceful silence lay over all, and the night had run half of her swift course, down from the heavens, from the royal throne, leapt your all powerful word.” (the book of Wisdom 18:14, 15)

Fear

Yesterday and the day before I was struggling with the fear of returning to my destructive, ego driven behavior of the past.  The fear has no basis in my current life but then it’s useful for me to recall that feelings are not rational and frequently have no validity.  It was useful for me to recall that I used to call it “galloping fear” since it switches quickly from one thing to another.  As I often advise others, I felt the fear as strongly as I could, gave it no validity and let it pass (like a fart).  I feel much better today and am able to deal with more computer problems.

Change

I am accustomed to and prefer to have a feeling of sameness and predictability for most of my life, which then allows me to deal with the parts of life that shift and change.  Right now I keep working on the self-healing I mentioned last month which involves working with karma, layers of self and God’s will for me.  As I work on them, through meditation, everything keeps shifting and that makes me uncomfortable and also increases my need for slowing down and self-care.  The day begins!

Gratitude

I am approaching the anniversary of my becoming illegal drug and alcohol free and, as I always do this time of year, I am reflecting on my journey these past thirty-five years.  On one hand I have a wonderful life with a very strong connection to the force I call God.  I readily acknowledge that I have gotten many gifts and I am extremely grateful for the person I am today.  I know that I needed to go through all of the challenges I have had to face in order to become me.  On the other han I would not wish that history on anyone.  I had better stick with the gratitude!

Self-care

I noticed the last few days that I was getting angry at little, silly things like when I splattered very sticky cranberry sauce over a large area on the kitchen floor — twice, so I knew I needed more self-care and rest.  Today I did exercise and I went to a recovery meeting but I took the rest of the day off.  I rested, meditated and watched two silly but entertaining movies.  It surprises me how easy I find it to ignore or override my own needs.  I really need to pay attention and take the time needed if I am to be at my best,.

Listening and Acting

I have been keeping a journal for many years because of my realizing how much it helped me stay on track as the person I wanted to be.  In recent years I have put it on line and realized that others might benefit as well.  My procedure was that when I got up to pray and meditate in the middle of the night I would sort back through my day and sometimes one of my files of quotes until something stood out to write about.  The article would then write itself and I would not know for a few days if the main recipient was myself or someone else.  Then one night I got no inspiration — so I wrote nothing.  It then became frequent that I got no inspiration so I would skip a day or so.  More recently my computer crashed causing an extended hiatus and the need for a new computer.  The most recent development is that I have been told to stay off the computer at night and simply pray and meditate.  I now write these entries in the afternoon when a topic presents itself.  I realize now that this has been an exercise in listening and acting accordingly.

Gratitude

Today my recovery meeting was about being grateful, not surprising since it is the day before Thanksgiving.  I was reminded of the many gifts in my life and I am extremely grateful.  Many of the gifts in my life came in the form of challenges or difficulties and their resolution led to the gifts.  My disability is a good example since it has taught me many things, like patience, tolerance and the need for self-care.  I deal with my disability with love and my connection to God.  Using love, visualization and healing prayer has yielded results that doctors say are impossible.