Control Issues

The central topic at my recovery meeting today was the desire to control life and outcomes, basic control issues.  As I mentioned then, I used to be very controlling and my efforts caused a great deal of stress in my life (various addictive behaviors, an ulcer, poor sleep and a constant driven feeling).  During my recovery I have had my control “wrenched” from my grasp, meaning it has been made quite clear to me that I am in control of virtually nothing.  As Kornfield points out “To love fully and live well requires us to recognize finally that we do not possess or own anything---our homes, our cars, our loved ones, not even our own body.  Spiritual joy and wisdom do not come through possession but rather through our capacity to open, to love more fully, and to move and be free in life.”  I now take actions (participate fully in life) but also ask for support and guidance, as in my previous day’s entry, together with allowing the outcome to unfold as it will.