Fear

The topic in the meeting today was fear or, for some, fear of change.  The topic and comments caused me to reflect on my fears in the past and the present.  In the past, I recognized that there was comfort and familiarity in being a bit of a stubborn, appositional jerk and a bit of a screw up.  The way I was at that time.  Changing away from that invoked a great deal of fear since, if I gave that up, I did not know if anything would be left, and I simply did not know what was on the other side, if I gave up that way of being.  I went through with the change due, primarily, to the guidance of other people.
In the present I have some fears that hold me back from being all I can be.  As I said after the meeting today, I am a special person with unique gifts who is of service to many people.  Putting it simply “I am Charlie and that is what I do”.  The fact is, that I have little more than begun to tap into that power I call God or love and how that power can change my life.  There is more there and a vague sort of fear keeps me from accessing it.  I will continue to allow that fear to pass..