Conflict

A few years back I encountered what was titled "Cherokee Wisdom" on the internet. In that piece a grandfather explained to his grandson that within each person there was a struggle or conflict between a bad or evil wolf and a good or loving wolf. The grandson then asked "which wolf wins" and the old Cherokee responded "the one you feed". Right now that same conflict is playing out on a societal level with lies deceit and unethical practices on one side and kindness, honesty and love on the other. I sense clearly that, in an eternal sense, Love will win since love is much more powerful and love conquers all. However, we are not there yet. I will continue to do all I can on an individual and societal level to promote the Love side.

Light and Love

I see and feel the light and Love of God in everything around me at all times, which brings me great peace and joy. Because of that feeling I often find myself laughing or smiling. I feel great joy. For example, yesterday, I went grocery shopping and I saw several very young children with their mothers. I saw their beautiful eyes, smile and they often smiled back. Another example is that tonight I encountered a cockroach, a truly well adapted survivor and I smiled (I still dispatched it while admitting I valued it!). According to Thomas Jesus said, "I am the light which is before all things. It is I who am all things. From me all things came forth, and to me all things extend. Split a piece of wood, and I am there; lift up the stone, and you will find me."

Human Nature

Tonight I keep thinking back to the movie Wonder Woman and her words after her opponent pointed out that humans were self-centered, selfish, aggressive and not worthy of her concern, protection or attention. Her response was to say basically "yes they are — but they are also so much more". We/they are. As in my case, we are quite capable of being loving and other-directed. I am committed to the growth and well being of my brothers and sisters on this planet and I know many others who feel the same. We, unquestionably, have our negative sides but we also have a positive side. We just need to nourish it.

On The Cross

Today, in the monthly meeting of our spiritual reading group, we were talking about "living on the cross", the suffering and the death of our own ego selves as we turn ourselves over to the will of God. As I mentioned, I do not experience suffering from carrying out difficult ministries or turning my life and will over to the care of God. Anyone looking at the physical reality of my life would think I was suffering. I do not. I do feel the " peace, Love and joy I find there", which I spoke of yesterday. As St. John of the Cross said of touches " The delights they engender more than compensate for all the trials suffered in life, even though innumerable"

Connection

I have a very close connection with God and I rely on that connection with the peace, Love and joy I find there to carry me through each day. Most of the activities in any day are difficult and challenging for me but I usually do not notice that because of that peace, Love and joy I feel. In order to cultivate and maintain that connection I spend a good part of each day in prayer and meditation. So far, I have not experienced any spiritually "dry" times when I do not feel that connection for which I am very grateful. "Immersion in God entails a being filled with Him, a divine inflowing. Biblical men knew well enough that this self-communication of God is the sole destiny of men." (Thomas Dubay, S. M.)

What Matters

We got a second opinion and analysis of the problem with our car and it was different from the first, but similar in that it was concluded that the engine was worn out. We can either replace the engine or get a new car. Given the age of the car (16 years), a newer engine is a bad idea. This will be expensive but it is also just a material thing. I am reminded of the words of Richard Pries from years ago that "Nothing matters very much and very few things matter at all". Buying a new is car not a matter of love or relationship, has no eternal significance and will matter little when I am on my death bed.

Focus

Today, in contrast to yesterday, I did well at maintaining my focus on "God, Love, healing and recovery" during my various activities. The difference between yesterday and today made me think of the comment by Gilbert Kilpack, that "one must travel much in the dark and be greatly sifted and tossed about is an inevitable step in the way of spiritual growth." During my exercise this morning I was able to keep focus on healing and harmony with the earth. Later in the day, during meditation, unlike yesterday, I kept my brain on "God, Love, healing and recovery" rather tan revisiting my monkey mind. Scattered through the day I was able to deal with the same car stuff I mentioned yesterday, without giving it much importance, reminding me of the comment by Thomas Dubay, S. M., that "A person is able to attend to the indwelling Trinity and yet carry on the ordinary business of daily life." I also relaxed for a while with an inspirational movie about a woman, love and her dog. It was a good day.

Meditation

Tonight I have been having difficulty keeping my focus on God, Love, healing and recovery during my meditation. My brain keeps drifting off into current events of my life and I keep noticing the wandering, not judging it and bringing my focus back. The current event that I am having trouble with is the situation with my car. We are not sure at this point but we may have to replace it. The various options vary, in cost, from hundreds up to $26,000, which captures my attention but it is also just material stuff and money, items of little importance. I wish to quiet the "clamoring" of my brain (monkey mind) which tends to give this topic more than it deserves!

Near-Death-Experience

When I had my Near-Death-Experience I could feel the Love of God and with that love was its strong "desire" (not the right word since it is human and God is more, but the best I can do) to create more love. The nature of love is that it creates more love, it spreads and increases. At that time I chose to come back to the living and be part of spreading that love, I felt I could do no less. That was a fine choice which has yielded incredible riches for me. I need to keep my focus on that choice or I slip back into my old ways, in spite of how harmonious it feels.

God's Love

I need to always to remember that "To be perfect in God’s eyes is to be my whole self" (Elizabeth Ostrander Sutton) and that God’s Love is very powerful, absolute and unconditional. I could feel all of that during my Near-Death-Experience and will never forget it — at least not for long. Like many of my fellow humans, I "have a history" and I am not totally free of my frailties in the present. I could feel that none of that made any difference, that reality did not diminish God’s Love in any way. The feeling was much stronger than anything of human origin.