Sitting With a Plant

  The other day one of our rhododendrons was showing wilted leaves which we took as sign of being infected with a fungus so I decided to go sit with it.  As usual I asked for guidance and also asked the surrounding plants to join us along with my wife.  It turns out that most plants really like the sense of community.  It turned out that the plant was infected and close to death.  The fungus was accustomed to being alone and not familiar with the feeling of community so I was able to show it how community felt.  The rhododendron and the fungus negotiated and I listened along with Maria and the rest of the community.  It was an energetically stirring event.  The fungus chose to back off but the plant died.  I was reminded of my own personal struggles to choose the very difficult path of staying alive.

Working With Others

  I work with several people over the phone each week as spiritual mentor or sponsor.  I also communicate with people, plants or animals during and between my various recovery meetings.  Prior to and often during each of those encounters I ask the Universe/God or whatever for support and guidance.  If I focus, listen and feel the connection, it is quite an experience.  It feels very energetic and I frequently use the term “buzzing” to describe it.  Of course that could all be my imagination — but I get good results.  It works so I suspect there is something real there.  This process is also spiritually nourishing for me, so I continue.

Synchronicity?

  In 1995, shortly after moving to Flagstaff, I was getting to know the Sundance/sweat lodge community and was invited to sit in the arbor for the coming Sundance.  My wife made it quite clear that she did not approve of the Sundance or my interest in that direction.  Not wishing to offend anyone or cause a problem, I asked the Universe for support and guidance.

A few days later I was sitting in my office and my secretary came back to tell me that there was a man out front who wished to speak to me.  She then brought back a dark skinned, very interesting looking young man.  I asked how I could help him and he told me that he had just come from California and that his name was Charlie Horton.  He said that he was walking through Flagstaff when he saw my plaque out front and decided to come in since we had the same name.  I then asked what he was doing in Flagstaff and he told me he was on the way to the Sundance!  I took that as a clear directive that I should attend the Sundance so I did.

While sitting in the arbor, I was invited by Charlie and other dancers to come forward and be blessed.  They stroked my head, shoulders and heart area with eagle feathers while chanting and dancing ... very moving.  I then returned to my seat in the arbor. While sitting there I very clearly felt someone or something stroking the top of my bald head with what felt like an eagle feather.  Assuming it was just a kid or someone behind me, I brushed them away.  This happened three more times and on the last time I turned around to find no-one there.  It was then I realized I was being blessed by the spirits ... also very moving.

When this happened I was left with the question of whether these events were evidence of a higher, guiding and loving consciousness or synchronicity and active imagination.  I chose to believe the former and since then, similar sequences have happened so many times that I am comfortable with that choice.

Space/time

  In 1988 I was diagnosed with cerebellar degeneration, a diagnosis I thought to be terminal since I was told “You will never get better and will probably continue to get worse’.  According to my research the expected outcome for someone in my condition was death after 2-5 years.

Shortly after my diagnosis I was leaving an occupational therapy appointment and feeling depressed.  I drove right into traffic on to a four lane road without hesitation, looking or caring.  I was planning to cross over to the furthest lane.  When I looked up, there were three cars about to hit me all going around 45 miles per hour, the closest being 15-20 feet.  I just thought “O.K., this is it”, and did not care.  At that point my car and I were jerked out of space/time and placed safely in the far lane.  There was no screeching of tires, honking or any indication that anyone saw anything amiss.  For me it felt very powerful and was traumatic. I did not speak of the event to anyone for over a month.  Even thinking of it shook me up.

I had/have heard various theories about linear time being an illusion or that time and space are really just an agreement between us.  I cannot say I understand the relationship between time, space and me.  However, I can say that time and space are not the simple immutable, sequential, linear events I once thought.  I also do not know the power that saved me.

My Process

  For the last several months I have been meditating/reflecting/contemplating in an effort to understand myself and the reality/world that I am living in.  I want to have a good picture of who or what I am, what reality is and how to interact with it  most effectively.  During this period I was not inspired to write so I did not.  I now feel inspired , so, for today, I am writing.

In some ways I am quite exceptional.  I can and have done many things that others cannot do.  I am also extremely bright and often see and understand this world differently than others.  In other ways I am just “another bozo on the bus”.  In some ways I am quite remarkable, in others totally ordinary and in others quite a mess.  It is important for me to respect, admit and love all aspects and act accordingly.  It is also important for me to realize that I am different and will be reacted to accordingly.

I have also concluded that reality is much larger and more complex than I previously thought, an understand which I hope to develop within coming entries.  For now I will just comment that we and other species are constantly interacting with the unseen reality(s) all around us.  The most definite conclusion I have made is that I do not understand what reality is, but that it is much more than I thought.  “I know enough to know I do not know”.

Practice

  This morning I read “From the heart arise unknowable impulses as well as conscious feeling, moods, and wishes The heart, too, has its reasons and is the center of perception and understanding” (Nouwen).  To me the heart is where love and God reside, not thoughts, logic and reasoning.  In most cases thoughts and logic tend to be fear based, focused on consequences and what ifs.  I prefer to focus on love so I go into meditation, shut off my brain, focus feelings and ask myself “What would love do”.  The answers I get have a lot of power, feel right — and are sometimes a bit scary!

Power of Love 2

  I will be going to see my doctor in a few days and I this morning I have been musing on my condition and the problem I present to the medical community.  When I was diagnosed (cerebellar degeneration) I was told that I would never get better — I have.  I was expected to die several years ago — I did not.  Because of my health practices I am 75 and significantly healthier than I was at 60, the opposite of what was expected.  I have not even had a cold since 2015 in spite of having been intimately exposed to various viruses numerous times.  For my own sack I need to express this and see what she has to say.

Power of Love

  During the Quaker meeting I attended yesterday someone spoke the phrase “love is stronger than death”, which came through to me strongly as the voice of truth.  In my helping people die, I generally project love to them in order to ease their transition. I just had the privilege of helping a little dog die by  using love to guide it through its confusion and then to the other side.  In these cases I use love and know that it is stronger than death — but I also know that I do not truly understand.  I know enough to know I do not know

Choices

  Each morning when I get up I have the choice of facing my world and interacting with fear or love — and very different consequences in response to which way I choose.  Those different consequences are both with the world around me and my own health and well being.  If I react with compassion and gratitude to those around me, it feels good and they are likely to do the same.  My health is much better when I focus on love and healing.  Much of the news programs are focused on negative events and possible negative consequences, so I limit my exposure and remind myself that most things are really none of my business anyway.

God's Love

  Today, here in Columbia, MD, I feel cared for and protected by the harmony of the Universe and the loving and peaceful force I know as God.  I find it notable that those forces support me whether or not I am aware of them, acknowledge them or even value them.  They seem to be above those very human, petty concerns.  For example, during my tumultuous “hippy” and even my teen years, if I look back, I can see clear evidence of those forces being part of my life.  I find that attitude to be a good model for me to live by during my own interactions.  I strive to not take the actions of others personally.  Generally I consider the actions of other to be expressions of them, and love them regardless.